Death of a folk singer

I really am not looking forward to this evening at all…..and considering it’s the very first gig of 2009 that’s a bit worrying.

The trouble is, my ‘man flu’ actually turned out to be the real McCoy…’proper flu’ and too be honest I feel like a great steaming pile of horse manure. (don’t worry a life time developing the art of grooming assures that I don’t have the perfume of said pile).

The gig in question is one of those ‘showcase’ thingys, which basically means that we perform for free in a venue that ‘might’ just book the artiste on a fee paying basis. Along with about five other acoustic wannabies.

This of course is spurious to say the least; however the promoter for the evening has become a good friend to The Mudheads and has been turning many a good paying gig our way. So it would seem churlish to refuse.

On this occasion Aaron & I will be performing as an acoustic duo (under the moniker, ‘The Loaders’) as this prevents CJ being dragged away from his family on yet another occasion for a half hour slot wedged between a gaggle of ‘Folkies’.

The quality of the average ‘folkie’ has dramatically improved over the past few years, and they no longer tend to sing about fairies and the bleakness of existence.

However, they still remain sensitive souls and generally refuse to go on to any stage after we have been on it.

The Mudheads as well as the Loaders have often been described as ‘A bunch of ruddy lunatics with more energy than sense’, a title we have become fiercely proud of. However, this honour has not been bestowed lightly and the reputation has been earned by screaming our heads off, thrashing around the stage, breaking things and for generally embarrassing ourselves.

The fate of some ‘sensitive soul’ lamenting ‘The Streets of London’ after we have stormed off following our much requested ‘heavy metal medley on acoustic guitars’ is not something many are prepared to tolerate.

With this in mind we normally get shoved on at the end of the night.

It is for ‘the big finish’ we are told.

Normally what it does mean is that the lights are going out and last orders are being called and two thirds of the audience has bogged off as they have to get up for work in the morning.

I put on my most pathetic ‘sick note’ voice to the promoter this afternoon and he has vowed to stick us on first.

We shall see, we shall see.

Either way…..my head pounding and my throat feeling like I have been gargling with light bulbs and chilli peppers as well has having the Chinese elephant of good fortune encamped on my chest….I think I am going to try and remember the words to ‘The Streets of London’

“Have you seen the old girl, who walks the streets of London, carrying her home, in two carrier bags.”