Tuesday 28 July 2009

"He could sell sand to the Eygptians"

I have got myself back into the world of promotion, and I have to confess I am enjoying it.

With a lot of the venues we as a band are playing in these days we are there strictly to entertain the punters already provided. This Saturday we are performing at a well respected venue where the responsibility is down to us to get people there......and unfortunately we are going head to head with the Bristol Harbor Festival. I'm praying for rain. Not very charitable I know but I have a band to promote don't you know.

Of course with gigs like this it becomes a bit like trying to sell life assurance. Your first targets are friends and family. They have of course become wise to my persuasive ways and have already begun to make excuses. "I'm in South Africa Uncle Paul". I tell you, the lack of loyalty in my family is outstanding.

As the days pass the excuses for non attendance become almost biblical in their imagination "I would love to be there but I have just bought a field and I have to inspect it".

"I have just purchased a team of Oxen and I must go and plough my field"

"My father is about to be married and I must attend the wedding".

I of course have already gone out into the highways and byways to invite people in the stead of my disloyal following. The only recourse left open to me is equally as biblical in that they all be cast from the light into the darkness where there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth. Naturally if you have no teeth, as charitable as I can be...teeth will be provided.

Obviously my loyal blog readers will want to rush to see this blessed author take to the stage in solidarity with the man himself.

So, with that in mind...if you are anywhere near Bristol, England on;

Saturday 1st August 09

then get yourselves along to The Thunderbolt in Totterdown by about 9:30pm.

I promise you, it will be worth it.

Right, promotion over.....now......are you adequately covered in terms of your life assurance??

4 comments:

Unknown said...

I would love to come but my magic bean crop needs harvesting.

Good luck though. Totterdown eh? You'll be providing stab-vests then?

Rock God said...

It's been long time since you've been to Bristol hasn't it!!

I'm trying to think of a London equivilant.....Notting Hill perhaps!! Where all the trendies live?

Stab vest....huh!....probably the only thing thrust in our direction will be cous cous

Unknown said...

I stand (sit technically) corrected. The last time I was in Totterdown I was at a guys flat where he kept a dismantled motorbike in his living room. He thought he was cultured though because the parts were laid out on newspaper.

I wish I could be there to throw ciabatta at you. Good luck.

Bass Bin said...

I was a bit slow in developing a truly quality excuse and improvising something on the spur of the moment is somewhat beyond me... so I went to the gig..!

No drug dealing, no gun play, no hand to hand combat? What sort of venue was that?