Oops!!

Well, the evening of ‘the big gig’ arrived and we were well up for an evening of rock & roll excitement……..it was going to run smoother than an Italian waiters chat up lines.

You know it wasn’t going to happen don’t you.

Can I say right from the start that the organiser of this event is a REALLY nice guy. He is well thought of by everybody, and he has been really good to us as a band.

He just has one small defect…..well two really!

He couldn’t organise a booze up in the proverbial brewery and he works on ‘Greek time’ i.e. it’ll happen when it happens.

The Mudheads and the opening support band (Mid Life Crisis) had been asked to arrive early at 6:30pm in order to set up and sound check. The organiser and his band, who had to set up first as they were the headliners, didn’t show until about 7:15pm (the doors open prompt at 8pm).

There was no sense of panic……well there was…but that was only coming from us and the Crisis.

Our guitarist, Aaron is young. He still has much passion running through his veins, and he was becoming very passionate indeed. I had to remind him frequently that it was not appropriate to use language like that in front of his aging father (i.e….me!).

His passion rose to new heights when the Mid Life Crisis told us that they had been promised the use of our equipment and hadn’t brought any of their own.

This is generally accepted practice amongst bass players and drummers, but NEVER the guitarists…and it is always good form to enquire if this is the case BEFORE arriving at the venue.

Aaron’s rage was beginning to surpass itself and I had to remind him that we were playing for an honourable cause and inserting guitar heads into places that they were not meant to go, would not generally improve upon the good humour of this auspicious occasion.

Anyway, ruffled feathers were soothed with the promise of beer, but only just.

Anyway, bottom line, we went up to sound check, and they opened the doors, and the sound engineer turned all the lights and the power to the stage…off! Plunging us into darkness.

This did not help Aaron who had suddenly discovered that his amplifier was not working.

Anyway, drummer CJ is always a clear thinker and talking softly to the passionate one, and dabbing his heated brow with a damp copy of guitarist weekly ascertained that Aaron had in his haste and passion, not plugged his pedal board in properly.

Anyway, there was nothing we could do now, and we placed ourselves into the caring hands of the God of Rock & Roll (sponsored by Guinness and available for weddings, Bar mitzvahs and funerals) and went off to find supper.

When we arrived back at the venue it was already heaving, which was an extremely good sign. The other good sign was that a good contingency of Aaron’s mates, formally known as the Mudheads Mob, had arrived and were eager for a good night of Roooccckkkk!!

A crowd of CJ’s friends from the school PTA had also shown up so we were well on a way.

I discovered however, that not a single friend of mine had shown. I really am ‘Billy no mates’….such is the lonely road of the Rock God.

We had decided that as it was such a good gig we would push the boat out and CJ and I wore suits….yup! the Mod look was back in as we donned our best bib and tucker, ties the lot, all topped off with bass ball boots.

The opening two bands had warmed the crowd and then it was our turn.

The promoter warmly introduced us and we took to the stage launching into our opening number, the crowd went wild (I’m serious, they really did, they really loved what we were doing, which was fantastic).

The suit was probably not such a great idea despite the fact it added something to the over all look.

We may have looked ‘cool’, but I sure as hell didn’t feel like it…I must have lost a good few pounds in perspiration the first few songs.

Each song flowed into the other and the audience were becoming more and more enthusiastic.

Then, disaster struck!

About two thirds of the way in, my amp much shaken by the volume of the bass fell off the speaker, bounced, and then fell off of the stage onto the quarry tiled floor, ripping leads and all asunder with it.

But there was a worse blow to come. My glasses (spectacles) were on top of the amp.

My bass guitar was still coming through the PA so I ascertained that I was still ‘coming through’ but I screamed at Tim, our Roadie to find my glasses (I am quite literally blind without them).

Whilst I tried to regain my flustered composure, Tim scrabbled around behind the stage until he appeared triumphantly with ‘half’ my spectacles.

The amp had sadly landed on them and snapped then clean in two.

I have to sadly admit that I did not enjoy the end of my concert as I was already being faced with a major problem. I had to drive home at the end of this gig….in the fog….blind!!

We eventually left the stage to enthusiastic applause and cheering and being forced back on for a much enjoyed encore………enjoyed by Aaron and CJ but not by me. All I could think about was “How the hell am I going to drive home”.

Whilst we cooled down in the dressing room and having failed to duck tape the specs back together, we came up with a solution…….I borrowed Aaron’s.

Now Aaron may be my son, and has inherited some of my physical short comings (well, not that short, he’s a good 6 inches taller than me) but I have 25 years on him so wearing his glasses was a bit like viewing the world through a goldfish bowl.

Anyway, we survived….and what a gig it was.

Considering how despondent I had been before the gig, this was a blast and we are now REALLY looking forward to our last gig of the year in three weeks time.

Maybe just a little bit of the magic of the Rock God Remains……….however, next time I am going to rope the amp to the speaker…ands leave my flippin glasses in the dressing room.

Ho Hum!